Not to win a crown
Not to save the sound
The blues are going dry
Waving the winds goodbye
Stealing the broken smile
FANTASIES become lethal!!!
Underneath the forgotten shadow
Lying stark in the darkness
Only the soul is the ANCHOR
Offereing all what is life
THe full moon is here
Light stands STILL
Sweeping all around
Are the gilded memories
Of whose image is carried as me
The shade under which
The darkness loses itself
Melting in a sinuous smoky road
Leading to a cavern of deep
Where there is nothing
No motion no stir
No shiver no spur
All what stays is silence
Pruning over the green turf
Yielding into the cloudy horizon
Is the past that never was
Holding in the sight ahead
Is the future thats 'not enough'
With me is just myself
Hugging the deepest thoughts
Summer rains wash away
More than just the dream
Sailing across the ocean
Is the breeze that I have been
Back again with my eyes open
I still feel I live in a dream.
1 comment:
With due regards to your thoughts and fantastic ability to paint a vivid image on a canvas stretched out of your own pliable mind.
I must say it requires significant maturity to attempt to paint a meaningful image out of the mundane experiences that every one has at some point of time on this side of his grave.
I will try to pen my second thoughts on the poem after I re read it. I dont know if you call this a review or analysis or dissection .These are just my thoughts NOT comments .I do not consider myself good enough to write comments .
I see two shades .Black- signifying sadness and White - signifying optimism or happiness.
The opening stanza tries to set the mood of the poem and has been penned in exact words. " Fantasies become lethal " sounds quite original and tops it all.
The second stanza
"Underneath the forgotten shadow
Lying stark in the darkness"
provides support to the tempo first set but somehow I feel the pace and the flow is compromised.
The third stanza suddenly sets in a great deal of enthusiasm with "gilded memories" and takes the reader progressively towards optimism with the "melting darkness".
The fourth stanza :
"Leading to a cavern of deep
Where there is nothing"
i feel , is dampening the spirits here. I mean it is not in the flow and doesnt add too much of value to the earlier lines.
The fifth and the sixt stanza are the most beautiful of them all.
"Yielding into the cloudy horizon
Is the past that never was
Holding in the sight ahead
Is the future thats 'not enough'"
These lines takes the reader to the pinnacle of optimism only to be shuddered and brought face to face with reality in the concluding lines.
"Back again with my eyes open
I still feel I live in a dream."
A beautiful attempt to express your state of mind .Surely I had to go through it twice before I could make out some meaning.
Best regards for your future literary exploits.
samir
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